Because of you.. I felt so stress.. I don't know how much longer I can take.. Having to feel like pulling all my hair out.. I'm very tired.. I hope I can fall soon.. still can't sleep at night.. ;'(
I don't know why I'm like this.. I hate myself so much.. I want to hate you for doing this to me but I can't.. I don't feel it.. It just make me in such painful situation now... ;'( I really need to kill myself... Stop this pain.. I hate it... I don't know how much can I take..
And you say you don't like games.. why are you playing now?? Because I'm not the one who need to reflect.. you too need to.. sigh.. I just don't know how come I would end up in this state.. ;'(
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Till today.. I'm still tearing for someone, who have been avoiding me.. I'm such a pest.. I'm so lost.. I don't know what to do.. yet no one can helped me.. I wish I have a brain damage.. I can't forget everything.. I can't do anything.. how I wish I was dead.. I still dream of you.. it's so painful.. I woke up tearing..
it's again raining.. it will never stops..
Monday, April 4, 2011
Saving up all this coins.. till 100 already for buddypokes.. I'm waiting, so I can post on your wall one day.. but it seems I'm irritating to you.. avoiding me so much.. Leaving me so blank and confused, sad and hurt.. yet you didn't help to cheer me up~ Is that how you treat someone with Love? or just because your irritated at the same time with me?? For my own good or for my own bad?? If that is so I wouldn't be hurting so long..
Now it's summer and your not online.. Seems you say you are busy for school days.. you are always lying.. I know you won't like me saying.. then I will say they are all excuses.. saying your treating me like a brother or we can still be best fren, and say I think that way.. I don't want to think that way.. but your making me feel that way.. is saying those also an excuse? or a lie? But I think lying is even worst then hiding my thoughts.. so much worst..
You once said your sorry maybe it's your fault and you don't what you are doing sometimes.. then what about me? You can't just leave me like this..!! It hurts me so much everytime.. There are many kind of trust.. I don't know which one you are talking about so I just say I don't know~ If that have hurt you then I'm sorry.. but if you really Love someone, you wouldn't let go.. instead going through with them~ So what happened even if I grow? You wouldn't come back anymore no matter how much I Love You.. It makes me sad thinking and writing here.. If you don't want me to end my life.. what should I do when I can't get this off? Maybe you don't love me anymore becuz you say why do I care so much.. becuz I still love you.. but it seems you don't care now.. like I said before.. I Love You more than you Love me~ ;'(
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Waking up feeling so tired.. yet I don't know what am I doing?? My heart feeling so stress and pumping hard.. Why I hold on even when I'm still in pain?? Is that True Love?? I just hope you can be with me together again.. but what you do seems so cold and I don't think what I want will happened.. WHY?? It's seems you don't Love me any more, your giving up on me.. I never had a chance.. and why don't I have that chance again?? You even promised to wait for me 2 years in NS.. you may have forgotten, but I didn't.. Maybe I will wait till I turn stone?? Waiting for my Love..
Friday, April 1, 2011
Leaving me alone.. Loving you in silence.. hurts me so bad.. You said you care.. but I see nothing.. Just concerned in the mind.. No action.. I always asked myself, why am I still Loving someone so deeply still when she doesn't care anymore? Why am I Loving someone who is so cold and cruel towards me when it's not even worth it? I really hate myself.. I hate my life.. Been 3 months yet I'm still tearing for this.. Are you doing all this to make me Hate you?? Is that what you want?? ;'(